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What, was "Rudy" on cable last night?

. . . Yes.


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Eliot Spencer vdistinctive
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[sticky post]Voicemail
"You've reached Eliot. If this is Parker: no, cereal doesn't count as dinner. If it's Hardison: no, I haven't read your email, yet. Nate and Sophie: if you schedule the damned wedding already, I'll attend.

Anyone else, leave a message, and I'll get back to you."

*beep*

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Wacky Phone Day!

[[From here]]

"All right, all right, calm down! There's no need to shout, good lord. And how d'you know it's not meant for me, anyhow? You don't know the kinds of things people have shouted at me before."

Trying to spin that into something flattering-sounding? Yeah, there was definitely still some of her father's influence there.

Re: Wacky Phone Day!

[To here]

"... Wait, you didn't actually lose your pants, did you? Because I totally didn't see them, but I'll let you know if I do!"

Mabel was pointedly choosing to mishear her voicemails at this point, because there were a lot of people she barely knew, talking to her about getting naked, otherwise.

[From here!]

[goes here]

A Totally Comforting Text From The Boyfriend

Gone to Ohio to con Nazis! BBL! Love you!

And later, when he got home, there was a note pinned to the door that said, Gone Connin'

Re: A Totally Comforting Text From The Boyfriend

dammit hardison

Yeah. That text was precisely what Eliot deserved, karmically.

He didn't care.

Re: A Totally Comforting Text From The Boyfriend

Ur just jealous I'm fighting Nazis & u aren't

Go ahead and try to deny it.

Re: A Totally Comforting Text From The Boyfriend

get hurt and i will kill you

Re: A Totally Comforting Text From The Boyfriend

Nuh-unh no u won't.

Re: A Totally Comforting Text From The Boyfriend

will kill your laptop

This was followed by a knife emoji.

Re: A Totally Comforting Text From The Boyfriend

Okay, see THAT was an actual concern. Hardison stared at his phone in consternation for a second.

I'll be ok. Several thumbs up emojis followed that to add to Eliot's reassurance. I'll hide behind Tony so don't do nothing drastic to my electronics.

Beat.

Don't let Parker taze nothing either.

Re: A Totally Comforting Text From The Boyfriend

The easy solution here would be to not go running off to hunt nazis without his damn team. But nooooooooooo.

dont get hurt or no guarantees

That got a punchy fist, a bomb, a pick-ax, a top hat, fire, and a skull and crossbones.

Probably best not to ask about the top hat.

Re: A Totally Comforting Text From The Boyfriend

I also got a cool hardlight shield! That was accompanied by a picture of a grinning Hardison doing what Eliot would probably recognize as the Hardiman pose, no matter how much Hardison wished he didn't recognize that at all, with what looked like a holographic projection of a shield over his left hand. Tony gave it to me as a new best friend present!

Well...something like that. And Hardison wasn't sure if he was supposed to give it back yet. But he wasn't going to say anything in the hopes that Tony wouldn't remember to ask for it back.

...What's with the top hat?

That afternoon, Eliot would get a phone call in the diner.

"Hey," the busboy whispered into the phone. "Your boyfriend is comforting his TA because Kathy kicked her out because they fought over Kathy's pregnancy."

"That explains why she hasn't been eating," the cook said in the background. "And that time she threw up halfway through her ham sandwich."

"Thought you should know."

Edited at 2017-02-17 02:55 am (UTC)

Eliot stared at his phone. It wasn't an angry stare. It wasn't a confused stare. It was pure shellshock. Then he pulled out his phone and made a phone call of his own.

It wasn't like his staff was the most reliable source he knew of, but still. You didn't hear a rumor like that and not try to chase it down, right?

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