When a fight broke out between the dishwasher and the cook, making the busboy, who was barely old enough to be out of diapers, today, burst into tears, he knew that -- well, he mostly knew he was really glad this particular event had passed him by, but also that someone was going to have to take charge.
Mac and cheese with hot dogs
If the kids were going to try to beat each other up, they might as well learn how to do it properly.*
* by which, of course, he meant channel their energy into something useful like sword fighting with pool noodles.