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vdistinctive


What, was "Rudy" on cable last night?

. . . Yes.


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Eliot Spencer vdistinctive
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Info post: What's an Eliot?
We briefly interrupt your regularly scheduled BDE aftermath day for a new townie info post!



I know, we've been a little bit on the quiet side, but I wanted to get the app in before the rush of open student/teacher season, and didn't want to bring Eliot himself in until after the BDE.

Anyway. Meet Eliot Spencer, of TV's Leverage.



He's just your average, everyday hardcore ex-soldier with Pantene hair, a professional quality singing voice, and ace gourmet cooking abilities.

He's very, very good at beating people up. No, really. The show starts out trying to pretend his job title is "retrieval specialist", but it quickly just turns into "hitter". His job is to beat the crap out of people so the rest of his team doesn't have to. Just being near his hand turns anything into a deadly weapon. He once took out the Butcher of Kiev with an stuffed mushroom cap appetizer.

But don't get me wrong. He's not just a meathead bruiser.



(Yes, that's him beating up Mark Sheppard. That guy is in everything.)


He's also a Jerk With a Heart of Gold and a soft spot for children from broken homes and probably puppies. No, really, he's basically the embodiment of that trope. Like, picture that trope, with not-quite-Fabio hair, and you have Eliot Spencer.


(HOW DOES THE INTERNET NOT HAVE A GIF OF THIS?)


He's really perceptive. He can identify what para-military organization you're a part of based on the smallest, Sherlocky details.




(Yeah, I wasn't really going for subtlety with that username)


He can speak and understand several languages, primarily of the Middle Eastern and Eastern European variety. He sings like -- well, like Christian Kane, because if you've got him on your show, you might as well hand him a guitar at some point. He can pick up pretty much any sport and become a star, from baseball to hockey to horseback riding to MMA, and secretly adores the fame that comes along with it -- even though he has to downplay his public persona, what with all the enemies he's made punching people over the years. He dabbles in chess, but if you tell him that's a sport, you'll get at the very least glared at. This is in part because he's grumpiness personified. He has the premiere resting bitch-face. He will wonder out loud what is wrong with your character and mock their geekier pursuits. This mostly means he likes you.


(ugh, don't lie, Eliot, you're a marshmellow)


Uhhh, let's see. So he's coming in post-canon, which means he's got all those grifting skills he learned from his buddy Sophie Devereaux, and he knows how to check his own email, thanks to his buttbuddy Alec Hardison.


(Not actually grifting anybody)


Basically, after the events of the Long Goodbye Job, Parker decided Portland was too hot for them and moved the team to Baltimore, where Eliot has chosen a nice cozy little island to live on between gigs.

That can't possibly go wrong, right?



What else? Oh, yes, he doesn't like guns. Most of the time, if he's touching one, it's to remove the magazine and throw it far away. Don't get me wrong though, that doesn't mean he can't use them. He'd just rather incapacitate a bad guy using literally anything else he can get his hands on. Technically, the show is Earth-standard non-magical, so he's just suuuuuuper well conditioned? But let's face it, Eliot is fucking magic. He can take a bullet in the shoulder and one in the leg and just brush them off to charge the bad guy and punch him out. It takes an amusement park ride to the face to take him down even briefly. And when he does decide to get into a gun fight?


(look, just because your para-military organization didn't teach you how to do this. . . .)


And did I mention the hair?


(JUST LOOK AT THAT HAIR FLIP!)


. . . Honestly, that's pretty much the important stuff. I really just want to post a bunch of gifs.


(characters with three syllable names, beware the "dammit")


Gif party time!





To sum up: grouchy badass perceptive chef puppy-cuddler polyglot who tends to become an overnight celebrity when put into the public spotlight, believes in down-home good ol' country values, with a price on his head in at least three countries, who isn't D.B. Cooper (watch the shoooooooooow).




(You gotta love it when Tumblr does your TVtropes homework for you.)


Whelp? Questions? Comments? Further giffitude?

Don't forget that fatwa!

I love all the gifs with Parker. Anything with Parker and Eliot is just maaaaagic. *jazz hands*

...Hannibal has a three-syllable name.

(Also I think we need Hannibal, Eliot, and Priestly cooking together at some point.)

But yay Eliot!

Priestly would spend that whole time pretending he didn't feel totally outclassed by Hannibal and Eliot.

But Priestly has THE BEST FREEZER!

"What kind of meat is this. . . ? Dammit, Hannibal!"

"You work with what you have." *snif*

Is it wrong that I want to have Grouchy!Elliot run into child/coyote pup Mercy?

?

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