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vdistinctive


What, was "Rudy" on cable last night?

. . . Yes.


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Eliot Spencer vdistinctive
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Loft above Luke's, Friday afternoon
"Alright," Eliot said, bringing out a plate of sandwiches (he was not above bribery). "Don't shoot me down right away. We should totally go camping this weekend."


Hardison
The words were barely out of Eliot's mouth before Hardison was already making a face. "Campin'?" he asked. "This gonna be racist militia campin' or more like pneumonia an' nearly dyin' type campin'? Inquirin' minds wanna know."

Parker
Parker slid him an alarmed look, then glanced back at Eliot. "It's okay to say 'neither.' Really. Also, why this -- oh!" She beamed at Eliot, and leaned over to kiss him on his ear. "Anniversary!"

Eliot
Eliot smiled, turning his head to try and catch her lips on the retreat. "That's right, darlin'. And 'cause Hardison needs to learn that the woods ain't evil or tryin' to kill him."

Hardison
Hardison sat back on the couch and folded his arms. Not that he was sulking or anything, perish the thought. He totally didn't want kisses. And was thrilled at the idea of spending their anniversary getting murdered in the evil woods.

"Yeah, this sounds like tons of fun," Hardison drawled. "Cause my past woods experience has led me to believe that, sure. Just tons of fun an' games in the woods."

Parker
Yum, Eliot kiss! That took a second to process, but then Hardison was talking, so:

"You know I won't let you get killed," Parker chided him, slipping an arm around his shoulders. "And we talked about doing something like this, you know. Eliot, did you have somewhere in mind?"

Eliot
Parker started the kissing. It wasn't Eliot's fault she was the one who wasn't pouting about the idea of going outside.

"The preserve," Eliot suggested. "Nice and close to home in the extremely unlikely event somethin' happens. And nice and quiet. I've even got us a nice big tent."

Admittedly Eliot thought a pup tent should be the most anyone needed. But when he said big, he meant actually pretty damn large.

Hardison
"Last time I was in the preserve, I was gettin' marched around some creepy statues cause I got kidnapped by a former student who was hired by the Bratva to murder you," Hardison noted. Totally idly. "An' one of the times you were there, Parker came into the diner ticked off cause you picked a fight with an alot the size of a rhino,"

Parker
Now Hardison was getting squeezed, even as Parker hooked her ankle around Eliot's waist. "We're not doing that again," she said flatly, then lit up. "Ooo! Could we camp in the trees, though? They have stuff for that, right?"

Eliot
"It ain't my fault you don't learn how not to get kidnapped when you're old," Eliot said. "And that alot was chargin' at students." He looked over at Parker. "We'll save tree campin' for our next trip, darlin'. I'm still workin' on getting this guy to be comfortable enough with ground."

Hardison
"Pretty sure that it is indeed your fault I ain't learned to not get kidnapped," Hardison grumbled. "Who's our not-gettin'-kidnapped expert, huh? That's all you, man."

He wasn't even going to touch the idea of camping in a tree. Not even gonna touch it. He was going to turn into some kind of animal and hide if that ever became an actual thing they decided to do.

Parker
"We had a kidnap calendar for you, Hardison." Which still freaked Parker out, but, fair was fair. "We're going to work on that. But first we're going to celebrate our anniversary." Which was kind of awesome! A whole year! She was terrible at keeping track of those kind of dates for their own sake, but it was cool that Eliot remembered. "And I bet there will be astounding food. To make it worthwhile. And lots of Eliot with his shirt off.

WORK WITH HER HERE, HARDISON.

Eliot
Eliot did not mention that it would be a little bit cold out for lots of him with his shirt off. Though if they were going the "body heat for warmth" route. . . .

"Nice warm tent," he said instead. "Lots of cozy cushions and things to lie around on. Crackling campfire to toast marshmallows over." He closed the distance between the three of them, smiling at Hardison. "No one around to hear us if we happen to get loud. . . ."

Hardison
Damn both of his partners for knowing all of his weaknesses. Eliot with his shirt off...Eliot wearing that smile that always made him a little weak in the knees...Eliot promising they could get loud... Parker mentioning great food...Parker mentioning shirtless Eliot...Parker making any argument with her arms around him...

"What you mean cushions?" he asked, trying to keep his dudgeon up. "Ain't you just gonna throw a blanket over a branch an' call it a day?" Eliot had said he'd gotten them a nice, big tent, but Eliot and Hardison differed on their definitions for a lot of things.

Parker
Parker restrained a snicker, hearing the first sweet sounds of capitulation from Hardison. She did tighten her old on him though, and plant a kiss on his temple. If he needed anything else to make this workable, she'd try to talk Eliot into it.

Eliot
Eliot shrugged. "Sure, if it were just me goin' out there. But what kinda man would I be if I didn't at least try to make my lovers comfortable?" He leaned in to press a kiss against Hardison's jaw, opposite of where Parker had aimed. "Cushions," he said. "On nice, warm, soft rugs." He was going to have to drag all this stuff out there ahead of time. What he was promising wasn't exactly easy to carry and set up without a couple literal pack mules to carry it all. "Just the three of us."

Hardison
They were giving him kisses, dammit. He was lost; it was just a matter of time.

"Do I get to bring DJ Roomba?" he asked, trying to keep sounding gruff and not like he was secretly melting into the couch. "Or my soft-serve machine? Or my..." What was he asking about again? "Uhh, laptop?"

That sounded like a thing he'd want to bring along, right? Yeah, probably.

Dammit, kisses!

Parker
"Hmmmm." Parker leaned her chin on Hardison's shoulder, and looked over at Eliot. "I don't think we can deprive him of wifi. 'Cause he's going to want to look up things in between sex and food. Or about sex and food." Which often led to cool things! "Sooo laptop would make sense?"

Eliot
"Laptop," Eliot agreed, letting himself sound grudging. He'd known he'd have to give in on something requiring batteries. The laptop was reasonably inoffensive. He'd probably murder DJ Roomba, let's be real. "I'm bettin' we can distract him enough he doesn't think about usin' it, though."

Hardison
"Well, that'll be your anniversary challenge, won't it?" Hardison asked, reluctantly giving in. Or possibly 'reluctantly' at this point. "Keepin' me from carin' about where my laptop ended up. Cause I intend on goin' into this ignorin' we're outdoors as much as possible."

Parker
"There's laptops, and lap tops," Parker said, looking inordinately pleased with herself at the pun. "And we'll be indoors in the outdoors, so as long as you're not ignoring that...."

Eliot
Eliot objected to that phrasing, but he knew better than to do it out loud. Sure, they could pretend a nylon tent was "indoors". He'd know better. "So you're in? We can head out Saturday afternoon, then hike back sometime Sunday."

Just one night in the wilderness, Hardison. You could do one night.

Hardison
"How long a hike?" Hardison asked, but it was just a token protest by this point and they all knew it.

Parker
Parker gave Eliot a covert glance of gleeful victory, and said, "Can we even know that before we go? 'Cause of how weird the Preserve is?" She looked thoughtful, though, and added, "We could aim for where we took the kids cliff-diving. Baby cliffs, not really hard cliffs."

Eliot
"That's a good spot," Eliot agreed. "Not too long a walk for our rookie here, good scenery, a nice amount of open ground for the tent." He gave Hardison a sidelong look. "It'll be too cold for skinny dippin', though. So the cliffs are just for lookin' at."

And climbing, because Parker. Just not going into the water.

Hardison
"I ain't agreed to go climbin' no cliffs!" Hardison said quickly, fruitless as it was. Because. c'mon, who was he to deny Parker? "I agreed to go live in a tent for a day, nobody brought up cliffs!"

Parker
Parker was now sneakily inching up the hem of his shirt. The better to trace his muscles. "I bet you could, though. I mean, I have gear for you. And I upgraded everything while I was a guy." She gave him a limpid gaze and added, "You'll like it when you get there, I promise."

Eliot
"You did say ya wanted a distraction," Eliot pointed out, leaning back to watch what Parker was doing and smirking faintly.

Rock climbing was totally distracting, right?

Hardison
...Rock climbing was not what was currently distracting Hardison, no.

"I--You--Both y'all--" Parker's hands were good for a great many things, stealing being only one of them. "This ain't even fair," he sighed. "I just want you to know that I know what y'all are up to an' it ain't even fair."


[ooc: preplayed with the inimitable age_of_the_geek and whoisalicewhite, because weekend plans will not stand in the way of shmoopiness! NFI, OOC is lovely.]

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